By Mabel Doge Luhan for Kandit News & Views
With only two weeks to go before the Feast of the Circumcision, MVA sure is “working hard” to avoid getting its own trimming!
MVA submitted a ridiculous press release to the Daily Hawk Tuah, otherwise known as the Marianas Variety, and the Variety of course printed it without comment.
Apparently “Saipan among ‘favorite destinations’” is the important news MVA wants to impart on us, and the MV thought it newsworthy enough to print. Hhhhhhhhawk tuuaaaah!
Whose favorite destinations?
Oh, the favorite destinations of a marketing agency called Beautiful Destinations. Why, this is just like the National Society of High School Scholars, Who’s Who, and the Best Editorial Writer Award!
Except whoever is writing MVA’s press releases still hasn’t mastered plural nouns, so it’s Beautiful Destinations at the beginning, but Beautiful Destination at the end of the release — maybe that’s where they obtained the extra s for referring to the “award” as “Your Favorites Destinations.”
Oh, but who cares about grammar and spelling? What does that have to do with writing ads, just between you and I?
Indeed, whoever wrote this seems to have given up on making sense! Because we learn that Saipan “is listed alongside” a bunch of random places, including “the prefectures of Japan.”
The prefectures of Japan? That’s a destination? You realize that’s all of Japan? Not Czechoslovakia!
But anyway. Sure, a bunch of other tourism marketing boards paid this Beautiful Destination(s) outfit however much money to be on their list. Either that or being put on the list is a sales pitch for the marketing outfit’s further services. It will be interesting to find out how much public funds we paid for it, and how hard MVA negotiated for a good deal on our behalf, and whether there were any travels to any vacation spots by the ten MVA people who are definitely necessary to sign the contract.
And then the press release goes on — “social media is one of the best ways our residents can partner with the MVA in promoting The Marianas.”
I HAVE REPEATEDLY REFUSED TO “PARTNER” WITH THE MVA, FIRST OF ALL.
How and why are we supposed to “partner,” for free, with the MVA, which already sucks up millions of our dollars, and is dominated by corporate hotel interests? Is this one of those Tom Sawyer tricks, where MVA is trying to get us to paint a fence for free? (RUSH WOULD BE BETTER IF THEY WEREN’T CANADIAN)
Interestingly, “We’re pleased to see the name of The Marianas continuing to gain international recognition.” But didn’t the article just say that it’s Saipan that got this paid award? Can MVA go back and check what they wrote on the order form please?
And while The Marianas is what MVA’s political leash-holders in Tinian, Rota, and maybe Guam want them to call it, those tourists are going to have a bit of difficulty trying to book a flight to “The Marianas.” Not that MVA cares about any actual tourists coming here, of course. The arrivals keep dropping (23% drop last time in your own press release, was it?) and MVA keeps asking us for more money.
Oh, that’s right. Money. We’re going to submit an OGA request to ask how much MVA paid for this Beautiful Destinations award. Send over the info now if you want to pre-empt our request!
Your response to our December 2nd (or as you write, “December 02”) OGA request was a doozy. It took you only ten days to answer, and the answer came from George Sablan, who is now apparently “Procurement Officer (Acting),” because we made fun of him too much for the “tour guide licensing” scam. (By the way: MVA admitted in another OGA response to us that zero tour guides have been licensed, while Mr. Sablan continues collecting a fulltime salary and benefits for supposedly forty hours of work a week.)
Speaking of getting paid, we asked how much you paid in subsidies to United Airlines in 2024. George Sablan replied by saying that MVA “did not engage in a subsidy agreement with any airline.”
Immediately followed by saying that MVA “engaged in an Expansion of Airlines Services from Narita, Japan to Saipan, CNMI with United Airlines in the amount of…”
How is “an Expansion of Airlines Services” not a subsidy? You really do need to work on your plural noun game, by the by. You might also want to look up what a subsidy is. Also, what’s with the capitalization? This isn’t German.
So how much of our public funds did MVA give as a gift to United Airlines in 2024, while our hospitals, schools, electric utility, and public services were teetering on the verge of collapse?
Are you ready for this, my dear ferrets? You think they gave them maybe a hundred thousand buckaroos? Maybe a few hundred thousand?
Oh, you underestimate MVA!
In FY 2024, MVA gave United Airlines… $3,550,000. Yes, that’s over three and a half million dollars. That’s about a hundred bucks from every man, woman, and child in the CNMI, going right into the pocket of United Airlines.
What would you rather have: a hundred bucks in your pocket for every person in your family, or three and a half million dollars sent to United Airlines?
Well, you’re getting the latter. If you want the former, speak up: to the governor, to the legislature, maybe even to MVA itself. MVA employees and HANMI have already spoken up. They want all the public money in their pockets. Now it’s your turn.
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Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.
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